Thursday, August 21, 2008

It's hard to be a mom

For those of you who know me, know I adore my children with all my heart! But I have really been struggling with my oldest lately, I just was telling my friend Tiff and Wendy last night how I hope I can make it through her. She is the dirtiest child I know, I could change her outfits like 5 times a day if I had the energy, and redo her hair about the same. She is just one of those kids that if I didn't have wetwipes with me at all times you would think she was raised by wolves! And I have been contemplating getting her ears checked cuz I swear she hears nothing I say! Any way, I have been begging my Heavenly Father lately to help me deal with this little problem I'm having with her, and to help me to understand and grow closer to her. I think my prayers where answered last night, maybe not the way I wanted it to be, but in the way I needed it to be.
We got home from my moms last night and I told my kids to run up and get their jammies on and to get ready for prayer. As we were praying in Hold's room I felt inclined to ask a special blessing on Add's to have a fun time at school and to have fun with her friends. I tucked Hold in and then went to her room, as I went to tuck her in she had giant crocodile tears coming down her face. I asked, Adds what is wrong? She told me she was so glad that I blessed her to have fun with her friends, cuz she thinks they have forgot about her! She went on to tell me about how she doesn't really feel like she has any friends and that she just sits under the tree because a certain girl tells her she cant play with them. It broke my heart! Of course then I was bawling, my heart just ached for her. But I had to be the mom, and be strong, and hold myself back from not going over to that little brats house and giving her a piece of my mind. I have to let her deal with this on her own, because this is a learning experience. And I know Addie, she is funny and very personable and she will find some good friends and it will be ok! But at the moment I realized how much I love that little mutt! She said, Mom, I'm so glad even if my friends don't wont to hang out with me, you always will, and you will always be my bestfriend! Do you think I needed that? A yea! I just hugged her, and remembered what a little sweetheart she is! And that under all that dirt is a little angel!
I laid in bed and I bawled and then I prayed some more and begged that she would have someone to sit with at lunch and to play with at recess, I tell you what, if 2nd grade is this hard, Jr. high is gonna kill me! But, I think I needed this so I remember to put my arms around her more often and to tell her I love her more than I do! So Addie, I want to tell you I love you and that things will be ok! One day you will look back on this and laugh, but do know, mom does love you with all my heart and you will always be my best little buddy! Hang in there! And to all the rest of you who are struggling with your little ones, just hug them and love them, cuz we don't know what their little hearts are going through!

34 Comments:

Blogger Keri Haynie said...

That was a very sweet story. You are a great mom.

August 21, 2008 at 10:51 AM  
Blogger Amberly said...

I just have to say...thank you!! I needed that myself. I sometimes struggle with my "sweet" little angel Ashlynn!! Greg says were just to much alike!

August 21, 2008 at 11:11 AM  
Blogger Amy Lindstrom ~ YourLifeUncommon.com said...

Alright Robyn! Now you've got me teary! You ARE such a good mom! I think sometimes I forget how important it is to make sure that my kids know NO MATTER WHAT they are loved more than life at home! I am sure that Addie felt more than special and comforted when she heard you pray for her! Thanks for the lesson today! :)

August 21, 2008 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Lindy said...

break my heart. cute Adds. I think we all needed that reminder--to show our unconditional love for our kids even though they frustrate us so often. Thanks for sharing. (Isn't it so hard not to want to fight their battles for them? I totally struggle with that--instead of just supporting them as they learn to deal with it on their own.)

August 21, 2008 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

That just breaks my heart... I have so been there with my oldest having a not so kind friend. Let me tell you, as much as I wanted to step in and fight for him, it was amazing to watch him figure it out for himself and now he knows who his "True Friends" are. The same way we do as adults. Kids are amazing and your so right... if thier is love at home, nothing else matters! You are the cutest mom EVER! Thanks for that reminder. Hugs.

August 21, 2008 at 1:27 PM  
Blogger Summmack said...

Ok I have a giant crocodile tear running down my cheek right now! We know how you feel Adds. Haylee has come home twice since school started and said that someone laughed at her, or made fun of her drawing. It broke my heart. Adds everyone I know thinks you are the greatest, hang in there sweetie! Love ya

August 21, 2008 at 1:45 PM  
Blogger Pattie said...

I need a tissue. Thanks for sharing this sweet story.

August 21, 2008 at 2:25 PM  
Blogger A4GPA said...

I really enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing...

August 21, 2008 at 2:49 PM  
Blogger Jessica G. said...

I worry about this for Boo. And I can't imagine Adds not being in the center of all the fun...seems like she usually has the neighborhood horde following her lead.

But I bet I know who the snot is...

August 21, 2008 at 5:00 PM  
Blogger *WEST* said...

you totally have me teary! You are both amazing! One for her to get that out of your prayer when most of the time kids just want to hurry and say them and be done, and you for just being you! Here is a BIG hug for you both! Jason is a pretty lucky guy to have you little ladies in his life.(Holden too) Have a good day!!!

August 21, 2008 at 5:44 PM  
Blogger sillyhaywardfamily said...

Oh Add's if you only knew how much fun you are to be with,and how much personality you have!!! You are truly one of the sweetest, kindest, lest selfish kids I know!!! Always remember that we love you and love to be with you too!!!

August 21, 2008 at 6:01 PM  
Blogger sillyhaywardfamily said...

And rob I am so sorry!! I hate seeing your kids hurt,it makes you hurt even more than they do!!!
Know molly is always up for a little addie!!!

August 21, 2008 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger The Dastrup Bunch!! said...

Thanks Rob for sharing. I think that sometimes we forget just how important we are in our children's lives and what great examples they can be to us. You are an awesome Mom! P.S. I love blog stalking!!

August 21, 2008 at 6:23 PM  
Blogger RaKell said...

We never thought it would be so heart wrenching to be a mom when we signed up did we! Add's your such a great kid and Rob your a super mom. Thanks for the klenex moment and reminder to love my little terrors!

August 21, 2008 at 7:40 PM  
Blogger ALI said...

Rob I kmow the minute anyone messes with your kid its on. I think I have a lot ahead of me since Jake is just starting school

August 21, 2008 at 8:51 PM  
Blogger Andy said...

You're a fantastic mom Rob! Addie is so lucky to have you. I can't stand means kids. Because she has a mom like you she'll never be the one that is being mean. She's a cutie.

August 21, 2008 at 9:46 PM  
Blogger Molly said...

That is a mom's worst fear for their kids! I'm horrified for my kids and I probably will go over to the brats house and make things worse! Man, give her a hug for me!!

August 21, 2008 at 9:48 PM  
Blogger Marva said...

I'm just thinking"flashback".I'm sure you remember the many stories I have told you of how hard 1st and 2nd grade were for Jaycelyn and I. Kids deal with situations so differently. And alotof my probs with Jaycelyn were from the very thing ads is struggling. I know how you feel as a mom Robin. It's killin me that you have to deal with this as well. I don't know what it is about that age,but kids can be so mean.I think you are so inspired and right on with the way you handle things. Kids do just need to know they are loved unconditionally at home,especially by mom. That really helped my situation last year.Good luck and give ads a squeeze for me.She's a great.Jaycelyn really misses her partner in crime.

August 22, 2008 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger Br Boys said...

You have Addie tell that little brat that her Daddy is a police office and he is going to throw her in jail if she continues to be mean to ANYONE! Oh, I'm sorry, I mean just tell her to walk away. Giggle, Giggle!

August 22, 2008 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger Lid said...

What a sweet and sad story at the same time. I love Addie. It's hard to watch our kids suffer. Makes me feel bad for our parents, they went through all this too. Whay can't everyone just be nice?? Guess it's all part of the experience. You are a great mom!:)

August 22, 2008 at 9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Robyn i am sitting here with tears in my eyes! That is the saddest little story. I can't handle when other kids are mean to friends! it kills me...Addie is so cute

August 22, 2008 at 9:33 AM  
Blogger Marianne Martin said...

Seriously, nothing boils your blood more than when other kids mistreat your child. It seriously makes you want to go out and crush some skulls. That just breaks my heart, and Addie isn't even my child. But Addie has a personlality unlike most kids. She'll definitely never have a lack of friends throughout life. If she ever needs to break out any Kung Fu though, please know that I'm always available to teach those moves for free.

August 22, 2008 at 11:07 AM  
Blogger Arica said...

I am sitting here in my office at the junior high just teary!! Sometimes we forget as moms just how hard it is to be a kid. I have witnessed more 7th graders bawl this week, and let me tell you my friend enjoy your beautiful 2nd grader...dirt or not, cause she'll be 12 before you know it!!

August 22, 2008 at 2:38 PM  
Blogger Haskins said...

Oh Robyn that is so hard! THat just breaks my heart!! I know what you mean sometimes we just have to stop what we are doing and realize how precious our kids are and we can be together with them forever! I think you are such an amazing mom!

August 22, 2008 at 2:52 PM  
Blogger Tiff said...

Well way to go as if I don't cry enough already now you have me crying reading your blog! I just want you to know I love Addie so much I truly feel like she one of my own she is always so sweet to me just like the other night came right up to me and hugged me right when she got out of the car I love her so much and would do anything for her I just might beat that little brat up for her then you and her could stay out of it & Im serious no one wants to mess with me right now!!!

August 22, 2008 at 4:34 PM  
Blogger Brianne Minster said...

I'm going to go beat that girl that said that to Adds. Oh, she doesn't even know what;s coming! Adds, I got your back girl!

August 22, 2008 at 8:59 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Thanks for sharing that story Robyn. I have no doubt that if Adds has inherited even a sliver of the personality and sense of humor you and Jason have she'll be swimming in friends.

August 22, 2008 at 10:30 PM  
Blogger athompson said...

Hey Girl! Do you remember me? Josh's cousin, Amy?
I haven't seen you in years, you are beautiful! Your kids are adorable. I stumbled onto your website from Josh's. I just wanted to say hi.

August 23, 2008 at 3:56 PM  
Blogger The Carter Family said...

Thanks, I needed that.

August 23, 2008 at 6:04 PM  
Blogger Marisa said...

Sniff, sniff. Holy cow--talk about a tear jerker. I wanted to go over there and chew out that bratty girl myself?!? You're such a cute mom. Thanks for the reminder to just love our sweet little girls (I need that myself, too) because their little world can be so rough with the caddiness of girls. Now I'll go wipe my eyes and nose...(seriously)

August 24, 2008 at 7:13 PM  
Blogger Cami said...

Rob tell Addie that Bryty still talks about her and thinks she was the funnest friend. Kids are mean!!! But shes such a cute girl, it'll all pass, plus she has such a great mom, shes lucky to have you too:)

August 24, 2008 at 7:20 PM  
Blogger Sylvia said...

Kay, i'm like the 90th person to say this, but that totally made me cry, and i totally needed to hear that so i can love my kids even when they bug the crap out of me. I'm sure Addy's already found some little girls that love her. And i'm with you: I'm already totally stressing over starting Gav in PRESCHOOL. By the time Jr. High comes around i'm going to be a nutcase.

August 25, 2008 at 6:46 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I don't really even know you Robyn and I'm crying reading this! You are such a sweet Mom! Thank goodness for prayer huh?! What would we moms do without it? School and friends are a hard thing and I hope it gets better for your little Addie. ~Kristen Harris

August 25, 2008 at 11:42 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

It breaks me heart. This happened last year to my oldest and I felt the same. It really broke my heart too. I hate that they have to go thru this stuff.

August 29, 2008 at 1:22 AM  

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